reasons why I am unemployable include the undesirability of the employers

Four of today's ten "top budgeted projects" for writing and translation on a freelance job site I subscribe to (red pen just for S & Gs! (yes, I am wholly uncharitable!)):

Join an establish and professional writing firm seeking freelance technical and creative writers with exceptional research, data disemination and writing skills.

looking for enthusiastic skilled writer who is able to write "ad hog" articles 500-700 words on variety of subjects.

We are looking for a experienced copy writer to create descriptions of items in an on-line boutique. 

Need nurse writer/editor/ who fullfill qualified as below: 1. At least Master degree in nursing (preferred PhD./DNP in nursing). BSN with strong academic background encourage.

you look so fancy I can tell

You guys, if Ben Orr had stayed a brunette, can you imagine the implications that would have had for the early career of James Spader?

Move it along, 2009

It's time to go, 2009. I mean, I guess you saw me publish a book, and invite myself to Brazil, and be part of a four-day party in Dallas, and you had the never-ending roller derby season where finally the Nuts didn't come in last. So that was good and all, but still. Let's wrap it up.

This is why it's dangerous to wish for an epic year. Sometimes that year thinks she's being epic, but really she's just stumbling around shoeless in the kitchen yelling, "In it to win it!" while all the other guests are sneaking out quietly.

Tom Gauld via Grain Edit

This is a real thing

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Sent from a handheld device. Typos are my fat thumbs' fault.

shit gets hectic

Stills from The Red Shoes at I heart Hot Dogs.

(I refuse to see Titanic, ever, too!)

tomato, mozzarella, and Basel

How cool is this? The Willing Suspension of Disbelief, 2009 by Delphine Courtillot. (via C-Monster)

After a week in the suburbs of Fort Lauderdale mostly bitching about the highways and chain restaurants, I'm going to Miami tomorrow to stomp around the last day of the Art Basel melee, starting at Pulse. I've already missed shows by Kid Sister, Amanda Blank, and The Blow because I guess I'm actually in Florida to work, or something.

basements are all the same

I can haz Queen's English?

I'm at the Kingshead Pub in Sunrise, Florida. (That's the best name you could think of when incorporating your share of highways and TGIFridays?) It's lovely. Low lighting, dark wood, cider on tap. In a strip mall.

I'm sitting beneath signed celebrity photos from famous Brits. Turns out they all can't spell. Simon Cowell, "Your my idol." David Beckham, "To posh for us." Really guys? Stop ruining my anglophilia.

Ozzy's message looks like a child's doodle of ocean waves so I can only assume it's grammatically correct.

PS: Met my new boyfriend, though. Or maybe my mom's new boyfriend. Manny, thanks for the drink. You're quite the gentleman, seriously. Nice dude. I'm sorry you're from New Jersey, though.

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Sent from a handheld device. Typos are my fat thumbs' fault.